A turning point in the midst of despair

 

Oftentimes in life we encounter situations that call into demand the need for a mindset shift. It could come as a crisis of the mind, the heart or a physical atrocity that instills long term traumas that need a great deal of healing. It is in these moments I find that we are introduced to alternate versions of ourselves and they are there to carry us through trying times, ultimately converting us into more refined identities of ourselves. I find comfort in saying this because I haven't been exempt from the wrath of a crisis. I have previously found myself in phases that have required me to make adjustments for the betterment of myself. To have evolved into the person that I am today, I have gone through a period of time that compelled me to look within myself and show up as my own knight in shining armour. 

Have you ever been so scared of losing something that you've had for so long, and then you finally do? From that point you are struck by a huge wave of grief, a lingering cloud of loss that triggers a rippling effect of sadness. You carry this grief with you everywhere you go, all the damn time, because what was once yours is lost. It feels like a burden until, you finally decide to accept it for what it is, and extract from those feelings a breakthrough. The realization of purpose behind the emotions that we go through is a stepping stone for development. Coming to truly understand that we are placed in situations that are meant to assist us in becoming the person we dream of is pivotal.

Being at the brink of sprillaring down a rabbit hole, I knew I had to turn my grief into something that works for me. Instead of fixating on what was lost, I began to decipher what I had learnt from the experience, and how it was time to pay a little more attention to myself. I was met with ways that sustained my little light, building a notion that greater paths lie ahead. Breathing exercises, meditation, physical exercise, journaling, randomly checking in with myself during the day and asking myself how I felt in that moment. It soon became a trip to rediscovery. I had no idea during this time that I was in the pursuit of an unstoppable mind. Subsequently I stopped being oblivious to how the universe weaves lessons into our daily lives and experiences.

Since then I have fallen in love with the practices of self improvement. I would sit in my room listening to different frequencies of calm music, close my eyes and allow myself to just relax and let my mind wander. It was during this time that I would observe my thoughts, and boy were they a handful. I thought about the things that were happening in my life, I thought about the relationships I have with my family and the people I love, I thought about the relationship I had been in, I thought about my affinity for the natural world and how much I want to have meaningful experiences. I thought about all these things without any intended prompts and I felt grateful. It was very fascinating to me, because I hadn't previously done something like this. It felt new, and different and so exhilarating.

I knew I was on the right path, I knew then that I was going to be just fine, in fact, I was going to be AMAZING. A turning point, in the midst of despair.