"Only the pot knows how hot the fire is"

 

I learnt about this saying at a relatively unripe stage of my development, which is when I was doing my primary education. I do not reckon I truly understood what this meant in totality at that stage of my life. I wasn’t too keen on establishing a relationship between my encounters and proverbial wisdom back then. Not a lot of events had occurred that could coherently relate to it. It is a well thought out saying, implying that only the person experiencing a situation has true and literal knowledge of how challenging and difficult the situation is. 

Thinking about it now, a sense of enhanced understanding has been provoked through my subsequent encounters to present day. A lot of things happen in our lives and every so often there is a social tendency of sharing these occurrences with others. This is done as a means to seek some relief and bonding. My realization with such action is that not always do the people we share our predicaments with understand what it is that is truly manifesting inside of us. Only an idea thereof can be established, but not a shared experience. Even in such case of a shared experience, each individual constructs a different perception of the situation at hand.

 This limited understanding breeds some disconnect. Opinions and advices are limited to an idea built off comprehension of the narrator’s words, explaining why we may sometimes feel like some advices are irrelevant or impractical. A defined sense of judgement lies with the victim of circumstance. Even in cases where the other party has been through the same experience and can empathise, as victims we remain alone in whatever the present situation is.

In hindsight, comprehending that only the pot knows how hot the fire is, can help us appreciate the complexity of our individual experiences. Although it is natural to seek solace in sharing our struggles, it is insightful to remember that true understanding often eludes even the closest connections. Acknowledging this reality allows us to approach conversations with empathy and patience, reducing our expectations from others to crack our issues.